Love over the loud outbursts coming from your boyfriend is the phrase you keep repeating to yourself every time he has another episode. There are disagreements, arguments and just times when your partner points out everything he sees wrong with you. What about you and how do you find your peace of mind? How do you avoid the confrontation when he is singling you out? Providing a platform to allow him to express himself is key.

Create a response plan.

The response plan should include behavoir that will encourage expression, discussion, and solutions. When your boyfriend has an outburst you can:

  • Ask him to sit down and talk with you
  • Invite him into a different environment (backyard, dining room, bedroom)
  • Go anywhere away from where the outburst occurred
  • Ask him what would make him happy
  • Ask him what he thinks you can do to improve
  • Ask him what you can do to get a different reaction out of him
These are only a few examples to steer you in the right direction.

The result of such an approach

  • Sitting him down to talk tells him that you are willing to listen
  • tells him that you care about how he feels
  • Gives you a chance to identify what the problem really is
  • Creates an enviromment that does not encourage a confrontation
  • Gives you a chance to express yourself
  • having the discussion in a different enviormment will help him to remember happier times
  • helps you find out what he would like you to do to make things better
  • allows him to give you suggestions that he can use to measure your progress
  • gives you a chance to show that you are trying to cooperate
  • gives you a clear goal(s) to reach and do better

When he avoids those loud outbursts and shows that he is using self control REWARD HIM ALWAYS

Determine what the reward will be by identifying what he likes and what makes him happy (behavior, material things, etc.)

Your effort should go over well and he should learn to calm down a bit, but if he is the male version of Tasha Smith in a suit, try not to call him a bald-faced lie. Then, try not to run. (smile)